Hello there, folks. Going public about one’s experiences, views and preferences is one of the most insane activities a person could venture in. I mean, it’s what’s happening privately in hourly, daily and weekly bases that count, right? Righty… ^^
I don’t know… They say it’s the digital age and everybody’s online, chatting about his or her latest hoopla, believing a good number of people are interested in the goings-on in that small part of the universe, starring that one insignificant person, ahaha.
Don’t tell me, you don’t believe it, huh? You do. I do. We all do… In some small measure, in varying degrees, we all subscribe to that pitch about awesomeness being concentrated in that creature called self. And it deserves a voice. Or, representation. Or, a stage. Whatever.
It’s a bit self-indulgent, this blogging business. Okay, it’s a lot. Like… It’s about the self, duh? It’s either it hasn’t been heard from, it has far too many secrets or it has a couple of amendments that needed to be introduced publicly. In a witty, sweet, philosophical or whatever manner, things personal usually are.
Do we write to express ourselves or to impress others? If you’ve written at least ten (10) posts or have been in this affair for at least three (3) months, you must already know – it’s both. Of course, most of us began there – in the express lane. As far as I know, most blogs have been born out of confusion, out of the need to sort things out – to put some order into the chaos, to knock some sense into the head or to bring the heart rate back to what is considered normal level.
Other than to bring out in the open our innermost longings, our weirdest thoughts and the most berserk of our feelings, by doing blog we also fulfill that part about sharing, touching lives and making good impressions on others. Incidentally, at first. Then, as we trudge along, a little more deliberately. Blogging does that, I suppose – bring back the little scouts in us – distributing cookies and cheers and being all cute, huggable and hopeful.
And it ain’t bad. We all could use some of that – what with the world being too indifferent, too caustic, too commercialized, too media-directed, too digitized and ironically – too remote. One’s sitting across a colleague and can’t tell directly what he or she means, when traditionally all it takes is to utter a sentence – up close, personal and honest. So he or she sends a message, via wires or platforms using the elaborate applications, to tell a simple message – “Stop being an a–hole!” Of course, the text reads: Chill out. It’s still for the bosses to decide.
These days, we speak in codes. We say one thing and mean the other. Or, mean things a little differently. It’s not easy… Inside us, there’s that part that wants to call a spade, a spade. And yet, we all know, loads and trucks of things have changed and so have the meanings behind simple phrases, simple sentences and simple expressions. Alignment is a hard thing to accomplish these days. It seems…
And so, we blog our way through our boring days, miserable hours and detestable minutes, hoping to make our existence a bit more bearable – for ourselves, for the people around us and for that little voice inside us that tell us that once upon a time – there was this wonderful person in residence – full of dreams and promises and it hopes to be found back. It’s a little bruised, a little enlightened, a little cynical maybe, but looking forward to being taken in the loop once again – able, healthy and worthy to be introduced.
Before I digress a long and far way, let me say that the blogger here is the cowardly, selfish, full of shit and arrogant kind. There is no other… She can write passably. She has read far too many books than what was good for her grades or is sound for her social life. She has extinct abilities like hemming clothes, sewing back buttons and by the way, she can replace bulbs. She can crack the joke on that too – about how many economists does it take – and yes, the whys and wherefores of chicken crossing the road. In short, the humor here is mostly of the Reader’s Digest variety.
She has weird friends. They’re the kind that discuss molecules, political economy of the lighthouse and the benefits of offshoring business, all in one sitting and usually, during breakfasts. It hardly helps that their siblings or parents are usually more known or more successful than them – that gives them more excuses to build up issues and formulate them in such a way that they sound like social constructs. And some people, actually, believe them – that’s the sad part. But they get along, the friends and this blogger. The latter herself has some narratives on dysfunctions that are worthy of several pages on a comic book, if not a novel. She can weave them, too, if prodded.
So, there. If I say to you that I want to become a sensitive, trusting and responsible person and I would like to work my way through it – through blog writing and living a bit more consciously – would you believe me? You wouldn’t? I didn’t think so, too. But that was before I started blogging. Now, am on a different plane. I hope you wouldn’t mind much, if at times, I would ask you to hold my cynicism for me. It’s heavy and complicated at times, but what isn’t, these days? Will it explode? Nah, implosion is more like it – little cracks, that is.
Am writing and you’re here. I guess, that is what’s important. Cheers! 😉
– 21 July 2012
Cynicism on Hold